Listen from LOVE
Finally I found a minute to sit down and write about 1 of the 1000 ideas that fly through my active mind...even tho I consider myself a person who is constantly trying to work in the process of resting mind and being more into that place of heart... sometimes writing helps you to put some of your heart into human shape :)
I guess the topic I want to write about today is completely related in that relationship between MIND v/s HEART battle.
I was having a very casual conversation with a dear friend of mine the other day and I thought to share with her a random thought/feeling/concept...BIG MISTAKE! she took it sooOOOO personally... it wasn’t even funny!
There was no way I could take her OUT of that state of mind where she totally HEARD what she WANTED to HEAR and not what I was SHARING or trying to say to her..
Oh Dear! ...what a moment!
I sadly had to end the conversation as quick as I could as there was no way for me to get her out of that place and it didn't matter how hard I tried and how much LOVE I put into it ...whatever I said, she went back to that place she created in her mind...
...Have you experience anything like that?
Have you experienced the massive frustration of miscommunication and worst than that the horrible feeling of hurting someone you love by saying something which they took completely wrong, triggering something else that they are not even aware of and taking them to a place that is impossible to not have IT taken personally?
How we could find a way, a little secret tip or a code that could bring people back to their HEART and take them away from preconceive ideas that are only from their MIND, fear and EGO’s KINGDOM?
Think for a moment the last time you felt “hurt” or disappointed by a dear friend, or your partner or Mum & Dad...? Can I take you back to that instant where you felt SO EXTREMELY SAD to hear or realise that what they have DONE or SAID hurt you so deeply...?
Please take a moment here...close your eyes and put yourself in the situation again, then for a second come back and SEE and focus only on that person’s PURE HEART, full of love for you...
Do you truly believe that the person YOU LOVE is actually and consciously trying to HURT you?
I’m sure the answer is NO, as we well know people who loves us don’t try to hurt us right?
It's pretty simple and I feel pretty dumb already trying to explain something so basic...but for some reason...isn’t this the main reason why couples break up, friendship disappear, and relationship of all sorts end?
Did you feel hurt because you felt that they didn’t think of or see the best in you? Your highest self, your pure intention and meaning?
Are you listening from LOVE? ..or from fear that they might be seeing something or someone in you that you don’t want them to see, that perhaps you don’t even want to see yourself? ...as you have been living your life trying to not be that? and suddenly you feel so offended that that person in front of you is SEEING YOU as you don’t want to be seen.
Ouch! it hurts, it’s sad, it’s frustrating and we JUMP into defensive MOOD straight away...because we spend most of our lives trying to be our best, to do better and within two seconds we get stuck in this box of someone else's perception of us...not fair!
Why do you care so much? Why it is so important for you what this person is thinking of you or how they look at this specific situation?
What I think is very important to mention here is the fact that even tho I’m encouraging us to open our hearts, to listen from LOVE, we still need to be AWARE that what has been said is ONLY THEIR PERCEPTION and therefore is not necessarily the TRUTH or our TRUTH, it is in fact...
...ONLY an INTERESTING POINT OF VIEW
I have experienced this my whole life. Somehow I posses an “ability” or disability :) to speak “MY TRUTH” in a way that I have not much of a filter, I don’t attempt to make things look pretty when they are not and I don’t dress up information with flowers and unicorns to come across nicely when what I want to say is not that nice...I just say it how I feel it , how I see it and as I think as it's only my point of view, I’m not trying to impose it on to anyone or make a statement of a situation , I’m simply sharing how I see it or feel it.....as a result I have always have this problem...YES! it is a problem in this society , where people are so used to being NICE and very POLITE with each other but not very much gets said in that superficial layer of communication... where people would rather not share anything deeply as it is safer not to.
When we dig deeply into our heart we are way more exposed/predisposed to find PAIN, to find DARKNESS, we can find SADNESS and FEAR, I totally understand it’s not necessarily an attractive place to be and it seems very random to choose to go to a place like that...but my call today is not an invite to face all those elements we discover when we go deeply sharing our hearts with others. My invite is to allow ourselves to be vulnerable to the ones who we know love us and respect us and LISTEN from LOVE what they have to say about us, how they SEE us...isn’t this the place, a platform for growing, the real learning curve?
Isn’t this the safe place where we can see how we are functioning in this world...? isn’t it a good start?
I do truly believe that facing our darkness allows us to SHINE brighter, and I truly think that a safe and clever place to start this journey is by sharing in that safe place with our LOVED ones, family and dear friends.
I would love to increase this call to make ourselves vulnerable every time we meet someone new, but I know this is a big call and maybe not as realistic, as we have to accept that there are people out there who don't have the best of intentions for us, and that’s right... If we could only EXPECT the best of others..how awesome this world will be? :) I guess as adults we have learnt to build walls between us and to be more “careful” of who we open our hearts to...
Think for a second ....how cool would the world be if we could keep our Child’s open heart?, just as our kids arrive in the playground on a random afternoon and without even asking each others names or backgrounds, they simply JUST PLAY with the kids that happen to be in the same place at the same time. They normally are best friends for an hour or so and they play as tho it will be the last time they have that opportunity to share hearts..laughs..and stories! They TRULY share what they ARE and what they are there for..to HAVE FUN..to give a little bit of themselves !!! :)
So the Invite today is to live and breath each breath like it's the last one, to honor and utalise the gifts that our loved ones give us, which of course is to GROW, to help us to remember who we are, to explore and encourage ourselves through the experience of being in a relationship even if its only on the playground at playtime, to have fun and laugh with our "people" like is the last chance we will ever have... Just come back to that playground, meet with that friend partner or family member that you feel has hurt you or disappointed you, and feel their open heart and the love they truly have for you... for the next hour or so..listen from LOVE and play with an open heart, knowing that maybe after that hour your little friend , your love one..might not be there anymore..and tomorrow in the same playground another friend will arrive with an open heart to once again help you GROW, remember, and be a better YOU!